Alright, during my boring period something strike into my mind maybe i can use this precious time to talk about what I had been through this few days.

Last week was a week of disaster for me why is it so? Tons of presentation are coming I can't actually believe that i did rush up on my scripts and slide just one day before my presentation on Thursday. As Wednesday I also had my IAC presentation which we had spend times and efforts on the video shooting and editing also collecting survey and finalising results.

Not to mention it is my fault in missing out on my bf and friends(SCSC). I was unable to go out with my group of friends whereby the meeting just come in intersect after my ndp I find it no point to go meet them as it was already so late I also doing project the next day sorry people. Throughout the week I also miss tons of lesson because that particular day i just felt that i not in the mood to attend any lesson. Life in school to me is boring, a place where i hate to go every early in the morning whereby i had to wake up at 6.30 i regret choosing NP as my choice too far? Even i wake up at 7am i also don't feel like going cos I am already late. School when you ask me is it okay yes i guess I would say it is okay! The next reason i felt that it is unnecessary for me to attend any of the lesson no point going school just because of 2 hrs and take a 1.30 hr trip there and 1.30 hr trip back to home. Well not only school life is giving me a deep problem but also I really wanna apologies to my soka leader who keep on continue encouraging me during my down period and me missing tons of meeting and activities "THAT THE PERIOD I REALLY WANNA SHUT MYSELF UP IN A ROOM AND NOT ALLOWING ANYONE TO STEP IN" feeling with guilt and sadness. To add in also thank rachel for all the encouragement given really boost me up and change my mindset.

My relationship sink i guess? Without me noticing it well nth particular to talk about just feeling that all had change lack of commitment, lack of understanding, lack of communication whereby it so funny i think i still live and go on with it feeling that situation still can be amended which is wrong. Shed of Tears or Shallow no one to talk to? No one to go to? After that night everything is finally clear and sharp my mind is awake and been strikes. I am just sad why things turn out this way.

Alright I may put on a smile everyday in school and joke whenever i go just to keep my feeling deep down hoping that my joy will cover my troubles but neither it work it only encourage one to avoid from problems.

This week one last week before our study break and here come exams tons of revision is to be done I am last minutes type so i think i make use of this two week to polish up my study. Today glad that Our group manage to achieve a satisfying grades for Bmgt all goes to my team mates (Yin da jie, Anna, Nurul and Rachel) they put in great efforts really. Alright after that I have lunch in school with nurul and we drink bubble tea LOL. Well after that i went home watch show slack on sofa think of how and what bla bla bla sunday you know and start my work on our coming banner for ITB webby stupid photoshop cannot use. Watch channel 8 show and now lying on my beds writing journal.

It is really a boring day I can't imagine my mouth was shut for such a long late afternoon till night and thinking thinking just thinking but not evaluates.

Well tomorrow I would be working in the evening before that i guess i do have some spare time to go buy something for my crafting.

Well last note to all What i currently feeling:

I hate what I am now, I depress with myself, I just want to change my life fast and get out of this whole thing but I was unable to I was given a tasks for my future without any choice. Today while my teacher speak of the different levels of needs I think i still stuck at the lowest level the physiclogical needs the rest haiz i think need more efforts to achieve lolz....


Here are some pictures i would like to share to you people:

(Alright mission accomplished see all put a V sign meaning VICTORY!, my sheep is dead I cried and in the end they force me to shut my mouth up... ... ...)

(Taken few weeks back at suntec convention center)

Our holding area this time round is at pan pacific hotel wow! Soka participants get previlages hahahaha I have pizza for dinner yummy! and soya milk of course I lovin it cos it doesn't taste too sweet and it is okay!

While lining up for make up eek rachel and felicia spoted me and force me for pics LOL! Rachel that monkey holding banana trying to be funny and felicia also another monkey but still it is fun taking the pics as it show me in my wonderful costume WHAHAHAHHA!

Then they distributed some fruits after our meals banana, apple and Pear eek i hate banana that why i am going for apple but the apple look kinda too big for me that why i took pear in the end my mates told me to wash the pear although it look clean to me whahahah i trying to secretly bring it out of the ball room and wash it in the restroom but that guard there stop me in the end i still manage to bring it out ne ni ne ni po po! After washing the pear i got i go back to line up for make up LOL it look funny on me no matter what the make up is -_- like sammi cheng? draw till my eye brow like this! And we had our training its time for show time!

Yesterday performance was really one of the unforgetable one as we performing in rain? can you imagine just before our performance come up, it rain? and it is not minor rain. Our heart filled with lots of praying and chanting nam myo ho ren ge kyo... In order to overcome all the difficulties we have we pull through the performance with great success I heard that some of the participants did fall down but no matter what we our determination and our spirit pull us through the whole perform!

After the perform although it is still raining we had to stand under the rain while waiting for the dismiss of P5 students they really look so cute I MISS MY DAY while i am in P5! i look cute too but now like shit! Its under the rain we each get a bottle of NEW WATER lets us do some cheers we yammmmmmmmmmmmmmmm Senggggggg then the next minutes i found myself more wet like i just come out from bathe why it is so? You ask them lor play with water bottle -_- next time i should bring water gun at least i got a proper weapon er... The next minutes while i standing on the spot enjoying the NDP NE SHOW 3 previewing of the performance for the day I found myself being pull out by some of the NP SD may, rachel and felicia they say they found it hard to find me but i am just standing there like a status never move you know :( it isn't hard cos i am the only one with that face on the spot you can't find any other people with same face as me u know haha. ok below are some of the pics taken see this is sooooooo funny man!

Ok after the pic is taken i continue watching my movie serene say she gonna go back to her group you see while watching movie I think having popcorns or some snacks is the best ma that why i ask whether she can help me got some popcorns but rachel dunno what so funny about it say I lame :( anyway no popcorns nvm I still wanting to watch our performance for the day!

IT LOOK SO COOL the formantion and our expression on the show it is great if you wanna catch it it is show on youtube but the effect show on youtube is not as great as we watching on the big screen flim by media corp! weee haa

After that we going back pan pac while on the way i pass by my work place at AI QIN HAI they distributing brochure LOL loh kine is trying to give me brochure LOL? he don't know who i am hello then i say he shock to see me wearing like this in that make up ok i admit it loook like some invaders nvm hahahahaha!

While on our way back the soka admin side really thoughtful they provide us some warm water because we are out there in the rain while performing.

Alright after that some unhappening stuffs happen which I think I feel quite ridiculous and unhappy about which i think i shouldn't mention about it anymore. Life for me now really stuck at the moment really I got tons of project to finish by next week and I am still working on it exams also coming I really hope i can pull through one semester just fine and not missing any lesson any more in order not getting debarment. Chant is the key I need before my exams Leader training programme KAMBATEK! (dunno correct a not lol)

OK cya next week dear all!